EATEN ALIVE BY SHARK

ATTN. JAWS, NeoN, Chicken Little, and all Sympaticos of the Endangered Species. After viewing retrieved body parts from a sharks autopsy, I was told by the BIG KOOK how to protect yourself from those man-eatng sharks lurking of our murkey coastline waiting to chew you up and swallow you whole. BIG KOOK says the fail safe method is to visit your local dive shop, ask to see what they have in .357 magnum powerheads, buy a box, take them home and assemble a 6' aluminum launcher, pack it with the powerhead, load up you board and chum bucket, and head for shallow waters. Once there put the launcher pole on your board, paddle out slowly, and start looking for the GREAT WHITE SHARK (who, rather you know it or not, is looking for you) patroling the shoals looking for its next meal. Dip your hand into the bloody chum bucket and start loading up the water with sardine heads and entrails. Wait as the beasts smells his next meal, approaches you as you raise the aluminum launcher, aiming it at the GREAT WHITE'S snout as he opens his mouth to rip you open. That's when the fun starts. The powerhead disintergrates the monsters head causing a crimson cloud as its 1200 pound body gyrates uncontrolably toward it's watery grave. BIG KOOK claims it has worked twice for him. It appears that all the hooplah over these shark attacks have been merely to terrorize the public and form macho opinions.

Swizzie Eighty-six

This is OBVIOUSLY a TALL TALE as THE BIG KOOK

is afraid of the water....

NN

Manana en la manana. Swizzie Eighty-six

THE BIG KOOK IS IN THE SAN ONOFRE SURF CONTEST THIS WEEKEND?

NN

'ya I know I am yelling...'

BIG KOOK was unable to paddle through the powerfel surf and withdrew from the Senior Masters competition at San Onofre Contest. Maybe next year, Champ.

sizzle86

I DOUBT THAT THIS IS A TALL TALE. As a former Chicago boy, BK likely has used Magnum 357s in many, many other venues. I now live in the same neighborhood that BK used to deliver pizza in, where a Magnum 357 is an important tool for a 'za delivery guy.

It is called the Winthrop Corridor and the house shakes and rattles when those 8 car eL trains pass. And yesterday we saw some street gang members getting shaken down for some dinero by the fat 'boyz in blue'...yep and back when BK hailed these parts it was mucho rougher. No condo conversions back then..

Yes, those Gullivers boyz are pretty tough. I saw 'Gullivers Rules' scawled on a garage next to the crips grafitti... Around here the immigrants thrive on roaches the size of small rats for nourishment....

BK now surfs BIG San O and hits the bigtime waves in California, but he learned some street smarts in Chi town, enjoying Maxwell Street polish and Chicago Blues.

BK is one tough dude. Beware sharks. Chicago B_K is in town...

HIDE YOUR PIZZAS!!!